Saturday, December 29, 2012

Kickin' it.


If I wasn't such a lazy slob, I would get my trash to the flippin gym. I went yesterday- good lass that I am. Honestly, fear is a great motivator. I am so afraid of getting my ass kicked at Boot Camp that I have been working on push-ups, sit-ups and running like never before.

I fear that man.

I am going to go take another practice ASVAB and I still have to talk to the Navy, Air Force, and Nat'l Guard before I make a final decision as to which branch; it boils down to where I can get the best job, and how it jives with Chad and his itinerary.

Really, I am looking back at my 26 years of life and... I'm thoroughly convinced it would make a good TV show. If the Hansens aren't enough of a TV show in and of themselves. I have really been all over the board. When we were babies my mom would make up a song for each of her kids and sing it as she changed our diapers or whatever. One song (Not mine, ironically, but my rival sibling's) listed off a bunch of things that she envisioned this child doing; a cowboy, a missionary, an army man.... Well in a few weeks, you know who that song is really going to be about? Me. Myself. I just wanted to point that out, because humans are vain, petty little brats, and I am no exception.

Chad says that I shouldn't be scared of Boot Camp (it's really called Basic Training, as it turns out, but I like to call it Boot Camp anyhow), but I think it's good to be scared of it. Fear can make you run faster, punch harder. Fear either makes you get your ass kicked, or it makes you kick ass. And I'm all out of ass-kicked.


Chad

When I wake up,
Well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who wakes up next to you,
When I go out,  
Well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who goes along with you, 
If I get drunk,
Well I know I'm gonna be
I'm gonna be the one who gets drunk next to you,
And if I haver, 
Yeah I know I'm gonna be I'm gonna be the one who's havering to you 


So, good news. I'm totally in love. With that guy.

I am astounded by my good luck; he loves me, too. 

Saturday, November 10, 2012

Kind of Merry...

Well. Halloween is officially over and it's time to stop moping and get excited about Thanksgiving/My Birthday/the Hodgepodge of holidays that make up the Christmas season.
I'm kind of religious about the whole Christmas thing. I go crazy.
I'm Thankful...
I think that this morning was the tipping point: apparently we forgot to blow out the scented candles last night (SUPER smart, I know) so when I walked into the living room it smelled kind of like Santa's Workshop and when I peeked outside I discovered this season's first snow.
Merry!
Kind of merry. I slid thru a stop sign about one block away from my house and could've merrily died right there, but thankfully I stopped before collision. Plus the other car totally saw that I was sliding and gave me that sympathetic "It happens to us all, man" look as they drove by. Butch Cassidy has a bad habit of handling poorly in the rain and snow, so you can imagine that there will be very little actual dashing thru the snow.
Oh, the good ol' days
Butch Cassidy is the name of my Jeep, for those who are wondering what the hell I'm talking about.
Lovely to meet you. Like me on Facebook!
Butch Cassidy and I are going to be taking a little trip up to Truckee on Wednesday. I am interviewing for a job up there, a Junior Wedding Planner job which would kind of be ideal. I just wish it was down the merry lane and not over the semi-frozen river and thru the icy woods.
Why are all of our jobs so far away? Sheesh! Chad works in Carson and I'll be working in Truckee!? What happened, Reno? You are THREE TIMES THE SIZE of these places, why can you not provide jobs?
Anyhow, I think I'll get a festive nail polish and paint my fingernails. We are trying to conserve moolah these days, but I think I can forgive myself a merry bottle of nail polish. I'll get the cheap kind.

Saturday, October 27, 2012

announcement



i would like to announce that it is Halloween time.

The Many Parties of Halloween


Halloween is in a few days and it's giving me cause for great excitment and also great distress.
For as long as I can remember my maternal family (the Hansens) have had a fun family Halloween Bash at Nanny's (our matriarch) house. Each year has been a little different, but has always included; The 1949 version of Disney's Legend of Sleepy Hollow (narrated by Bing Crosby!), dry ice in a cauldron of root beer (it makes a cool fog), devilled eggs, 'worms in dirt' (gummy worms in chocolate pudding and crushed Oreos), music from Disney's Haunted Mansion, and general riotous behaviour from my 40+ cousins, most still in thier trick-or-treating stages.
Well, this year Nanny has decided that, after 25 years of putting on the darn party, she's ready to call it quits. So the tradition was quickly adopted my my parents, "Uncle Robert and Aunt Nellie" to the majority of my family. This puts me in a predicatment.
See, my family and I have had a bit of a disagreement recently, and sadly we find ourselves a bit estranged while we sort out our differences. And even sadder, the nature of our disagreement makes my welcome in the house a bit worn out.
So I may or may not be able to exersize my usual duties as the 'Hallow-queen' and spook up the place.
Either way, I'll be having a pre-party from 7-10ish and then later I'll be heading to a club called Edge for 'Night of the Dead', where my friends and I will indulge in a different type of riotous behaviour.

 
 
And that will be my Halloween Night. Until the afterparty back home.
But I have fun things yet to do until then! Today Chad and I are going to pick out our costumes, and on Monday or Tuesday we'll go to the cornmaze and carve some jack'o'lanters.
!!!
.

Sunday, October 21, 2012

Dracula 1931 - Spanish! Did you know!?

Anyone who knows me know that I am DEVOTED to Bela Lugosi and the 1931 version of Dracula. But very few people are even aware that a second version of Dracula was filmed at the same time! Altho it is barely known, this version of Dracula is actually superior to the one that I laud in several scenes. I think that the Spanish version is cinematically superior, and I even favor a few actors altogether! If I could merge the two films, I'm sure I could get a classic we'd still watch around Halloween today! (I mean other than people like me who are huge nerds when it comes to classic horror films)
I'd keep Bela Lugosi as Dracula (of course),  Dwight Frye as Refield, Edward Van Sloan as Dr. Van Helsing, change the language to my far more beautiful English, and keep the rest of the movie in the Spanish version! Watch it and see what you think! (Oh yeah- and I'd keep the original names from the novel. I never got why they changed that.)




The Bride of Frankenstein

This Movie is kind of sad- I can't help but feel terrible for the Monster (who is not ACTUALLY named Frankenstein!)

Saturday, October 20, 2012

I Am Throwing My Own Personal Halloween Party!

It's true. Because I have been left alone at Chad's house while he is running Aaron all over the universe, doing who-knows-what. And, being left to my own devices, I have just finished my fourth cup of coffee, created a Pandora station named "Monster Mash" and am dancing all about to my favorite hits. Including: (because no one knows about this song except for Hansens)...



Frightmare!


Yep. That's the one. I batted my eyes at Chad and asked nicely if he would take me to Frightmare this year, and he seemed pretty keen on the idea, so last night we (and a good friend, Aaron) all jetted off to see what all the fuss was about.


It waaaasssss..... "Frightmare!"

I'll be perfectly honest and say that I put that '!' on the end of the title with no small sense of sarcasm, tho it holds an appropriate air of tacky, worn-out desperation, kind of like the title is trying just a little too hard to be taken excitedly.
Now, I won't be a brat and say I didn't have a good time. Because I did. My favorite was actually 'The Black Hole'  which was an optical illusion. I really fell over and had to grab the dang hand rail because I thought I would topple right over the edge. I felt like I was training to fight Buggers or something.
'Ricker's Island' was thematically solid, and while there were plenty of jump-scares (not a challenge to scare me that way, friends) there wasn't anything memorably spooky- just a pile of guts over here, and a pile of guts over there sort of thing. It wasn't bad. Except for the part where Aaron about took a guys head off when the guy ran at him full speed firing a fake gun. Military.
Then we all sat down and Aaron and Chad forced a slice of pizza down my throat, and we all drank a ton of Mountain Dew and made sarcastic remarks about the 'Bill Pierce Courtesy Honda' sign plastered on the side of Ricker's Island.
Then off to the Black Hole, which as I said, was marvelous, and then to 'Clown Town', which was the least anticipated event for me. I am not a fan of clowns, unless they are the silly kind at the circus.
People always say, "Well, look at that clown? Isn't he scary?"
Yes, well, of course he's scary. Anything is scary when it's got fangs, or a butcher knife in it's head or in it's hand.
But Clown Town was pretty well done. They did some cool tricks with the lighting and 3-D glasses and it was well put together and had some un-anticipated jumps, which was refreshing. The thing I really liked was that many of the the optical illusions were original and memorable, two things that Ricker's Island really needed.
Then came the totally un-original Maze, which I was really looking forward to but did not deliver and probably took a grand total of a half hour to set up. And it had an un-godly long line.
The whole time I couldn't help but think how the whole operation had such potential, but just achieved, really, about half of it. You have about six million teenagers running around with cash-in-hand from thier parents who are happy to be rid of them for the evening. There was only one!!! food place. I'm sure they like the lack of competition, but a popcorn stand and a hot dog stand would have turned a tidy profit that night, I promise. And maybe a hot-cocoa place, it was getting a bit chilly.
And WTF is with this stupid trend of guts guts guts everywhere guts. Honestly. Three 'haunted' events and not a single ghost. Or vampire. Or witch or gypsy or werewolf or mummy or creature from the freaking black lagoon. There were a few zombie-types, so, props for that. But, really? I get it that the aformentioned creatures aren't SCARY to teenagers, but really, neither are piles of guts everywhere. And piles of guts are way lazy.
I would have added a few more tents. They needed a fortune-teller for all the girls to ask if the pimpley-faced boy their crushing on is thier true love, and an up-and-coming or a down-on-his-luck magician doing some tricks to secretly amaze the adolecents, despite thier cries of "LAME! YOU SUCK BALLS!" and other useful criticisms.
And they also needed an 18+ tent to attract the generally deeper pockets of that crowd. The burlesque-y artsy crowd would relish the chance to throw a Halloween show, and I am of the opinion that any event is made better by dancing girls, of verying genres.
So that's my opinion of Frightmare!
Thanks for taking me, Chad my lover. Mwah.

Wednesday, October 17, 2012

Creeper from the Black Lagoon

Okay. I'm sorry, but this has got to be one of the creepiest scenes ever filmed. I am  HUGE fan of old-timey horror flicks, and this one is one of the best. This scene is so iconic!

Friday, August 10, 2012

Hot August Nights



One thing that I really love about my hometown is all the events that go on thru the Summer. My favorite by far is Hot August Nights, which I used to think was a nation-wide, week-long holiday when I was a kid.

When I was little my mom used to dress my sisters and me up in poodle skirts, button-down blouses and bobby socks, and my Papa Dan would come by and pick us up in his old-fashioned blue convertible. I remember running out to him; out the front door and down the cracked concrete steps, thru the chain link fence and into his arms.  He had a laugh that came from his belly and blue eyes that truly sparkled when he was pleased. He was always pleased to see me.

He’d load my five thousand siblings into the old convertible and we’d head off into town, usually to Victorian Ave where we’d drive around and wave at everyone like beauty queens who’d just won a pageant, then we’d stop at A&W and Papa Dan would treat us to burgers, french fries and root beer floats, and when we were done we’d find a place along the sidelines and watch all the other retro-mobiles roar by. A few hours later Papa would return us to our mother, generally sleepy and sticky from root beer spilled down our chins.

It occurs to me as I write this that I have not gone back to Victorian Ave during Hot August Nights since Papa died. And that was eleven years ago, now.  Every year (that I’ve been in my hometown) during August, I see the Hot Rods cruise by and I always intend to go downtown, I guess I just never have. Next year, next year; I’ll have more time/money/reason to go check it out.

Well, I tell you what. I’m going to Hot August Nights this year, come hell or high water! I’ll get a buddy or a group of buddies together and we’ll wander around and have a margarita and breathe in the exhaust fumes and laugh and be happy. Time to make new memories. Time to seize the day; tomorrow might not actually happen.

Friday, August 3, 2012

Thinking Out Loud

Okay- this one REALLY is me just thinking out loud. I don’t know where this is going. So really, I advise you not to read it. It will be kind of dumb, most likely. But here I go.

They say that cats have seven lives. Wait, is it seven? I think actually it’s nine. Let’s go with nine because nine is more than seven, and we could all use more lives. My cat sure could use more lives right now because if I catch her claws in my screen door just one more time, ima kill her.

(Oh hey- good news for readers of my blog; my boss seems to have disabled facebook on the company computer, so now I’ll be blogging instead of stalking. Darn Boss. At least that’s what I’m hoping happened, otherwise someone has hacked in and done something fishy. What are cookies, exactly?)

Anyhow. Lives. Yeah.

I think that some people have nine lives, too. Or five, or seven or some only have maybe two, but I think that we all have multiple lives. I’d say I’m on about life four. My happy darling childhood of yore was one, my wholly miserable pre-teen years into my unhappy early twenties were the second, followed by my missionary years as the third, and here I find myself at my fourth. And you know, I can tell you day that I morphed from one to the other. The events compiling which caused the evolution are long and staggered, but the day of the change I can pinpoint.

From one to two it was one of the first days in fourth grade, when I came home with my first ‘D’. It was on a math test. Multiplication. I couldn’t handle those 7s and 8s. I remember my mom frustratedly smacking my arm with a ruler.

“Seven times three is twenty-one! Why can’t you remember!? Are you stupid!? Seven times three is twenty-one!”

The transition from the second to the third was two days before I went into the MTC. I was worried to death, but also at peace with it. I felt something warm and peaceful wash over me and it stayed inside of me for the entirety of my mission.  I liked who I was then. I felt like the Mother Teresa.

The next one is as follows: I was up at Badger Creek, and I broke the heart of Jack from Nebraska. And then, in turn, someone else returned the favor to me, if not quite so badly, I think. Then one day, sitting in the Temple, I had an epiphany (more on that in a minute).  I would feel more, I don’t know….. feminine?... if I could say that they broke my heart and the devastation changed me.  But that wouldn’t actually be true. I know I broke Jack’s heart and I’ll never forgive myself for it (neither will my mother) altho I knew then as I know now it had to be done. And I did everything to win the other guy’s heart; I was as perfect as June Cleaver. But ‘the day’ was actually the epiphany-in-the-temple day. I was sitting there and as I prayed for God to soften my heart, to bend me to his will, to show me the way, I looked up and looked around, and it was suddenly so obvious, so clear; I did not belong there. The temple, the religion, was rejecting me the way that I had rejected Jack and the way that the other guy rejected me. Staying in it would be like staying in a bad, unhappy relationship.

So I left the cold, harsh light of that life and blundered around in the dark warmth of the new world I had chosen.  Right about now my eyes are starting to adjust.

Geez, my tummy hurts. (Yes, Chad, I’ve eaten today) I want some Taco Bell. I don’t know why, but I am on a TACO BELL RAMPAGE. I have eaten Taco Bell almost every day for two weeks. Shoot, what I wouldn’t do for a Taco right now. D:!!!

Stinkin’ Boss. Why’d you have to go blocking FB like that?

Dagnab it.

Friday, July 20, 2012

Darling-ness


I like to wear headbands. They are fun and cute and they hide greasy hair, which is a HUGE plus for me, since I have been washing my hair only every 2-3 days because I really need it to grow.  (As a little tip for those ladies out there whose hair refuses to grow, stop washing it. It has been growing really well now. Also stop curling it/straightening it/dyeing it/blow-drying it. Pretty much you’ll have to look like a flippin hippie for a few months, but at least your hair will grow, for the love of God.) The only trouble that I have with headbands is that they squeeze the freak outta my head, especially in that sensitive spot right behind your ears. I get a WICKED headache after a while. With metal headbands I can usually just bend them a little to make them wider and thus less likely to crush my skull. But plastic ones are such a pain in the rear because if you try to bend them they just break!! Gah!!  And who the heck put TEETH on these things? Maybe a few teeth up around the top to hold it in place, but why are they necessary all the way down? THEY AREN’T! And then if you conk your head you have those TEETH digging into your cranium. It’s bad news.

That’s a big problem for me: conking my head. When I was a kid I was the WORST. I conked my dang head on EVERYTHING. AND! I slept on the top bunk which I fell off of several times and that hurts like mad.  Have you ever fallen off of the top bunk? It’s a long fall! Especially when you are a kid! Everything is bigger when you are four feet tall.

You know? Sometimes I wish I was four feet tall again, even with all the head-conking. Not four feet tall like, Larissa Tanner < J >, but I mean be a kid again. I have compiled a list of reasons that I should be allowed to go back into my childhood; somewhere 4-6 years old. 

1.       I was darling. I was. Most kids are cute, a few unfortunate are not, but I was the class above cute; I was DAR-LING. I had enormous blue eyes and dimples, and curled strawberry blonde hair. I was a mischievous but very affectionate little doll, and I had a lisp that made my ‘r’s into ‘w’s and ‘s’s into ‘th’s. In general, I brought joy to the human race. I was like Jesus. With a lot less controversy.

2.       I was skinny as heck. I used to get into trouble for eating cubes of butter and spoonfulls of Crisco. And still I was a twig! It was like I had a fat deprivation.  It made me happy and made America look good.

3.       I got to eat a ton of way more delicious food. Chicken nuggets and Mac&Cheese and Spaghettios… But back then if you were served okra or peaches or spinach you HAD TO had to eat it or DIE. Nowadays you can just say, “Umm, nope. I don’t like that crap, and I’m not gonna eat it. Ain’t gonna happen!”  So actually, I take that one back.

4.       Actually that’s all I’ve got. And #2 is kinda sketch, so really we’ll just go back to #1. I was darling.



Who am I kidding? I still am darling. I wear headbands. I’m like Zooey Deschanel.

Boy, I will be your sexy silk.

I have great respect for the gym. I just joined a gym, hrmmmm, three-ish weeks ago. Just ‘Anytime Fitness’ nothing super swank or whatever. I love it. I have lost a few pounds already, and I know I am getting buff because I have my iPod on my arm, and I had to loosen the band because it has gotten a little too tight. Which is good, because in Wyoming the wranglers told me I have frog arms. 


Oh God! Wrong picture wrong picture, sorry....

Okay, that's better. Yeah, so as you can see, 'Frog Arms' is probably not a compliment. 


The gym is my haven. My favorite is when the boxing instructor is there because I love to punch stuff, I discover. I also love to check out sweaty guys over at the weights station. (Weights station? I’m sure that’s not the right name. Stations are what we rotated around in Kindergarten.) Don’t worry! I am super sneaky and ogle them by looking in the mirror.  Besides, they’re totally doing the same thing to me, so phooey! I’ll ogle sweaty dudes all I please, thank you. 


Oh dear.
Wow. I started that paragraph with the intention of saying something deep and meaningful. That was super successful.
While I’m on the subject of sweat, however…… some sweaty guys are, shall we say, less desirable than others.


This article is really not going according to plan. I’m trying hard to tell you about the plaque I saw in the gym that said “Happyness is not a destination. It is a way of life.” (Yes, it’s actually ‘happiness’, not ‘happyness’, but I like it better that way)  And I was kinda hit by that. It true. You can be knocked off your feet by a freight train that came out of F*$%ING NOWHERE, but as soon as the feeling returns to your limbs, get up and RUN LIKE HELL. Be happy and don't let anyone try to stop you. So, that’s what I really wanted to say. We can now return to being shallow.
I am actually all gross and sweaty from the gym myself right now, so ima go take a shower. Peace.

I'll leave you with that image. You're welcome. 

Thursday, July 19, 2012

The Dog Days Are Over



Happiness hit her like a train on a track
Coming towards her stuck still no turning back
She hid around corners and she hid under beds
She killed it with kisses and from it she fled
With every bubble she sank with her drink
And washed it away down the kitchen sink

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

And I never wanted anything from you
Except everything you had and what was left after that too, oh
Happiness hit her like a bullet in the back
Struck from a great height by someone who should know better than that

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

Run fast for your mother, run fast for your father
Run for your children, for your sisters and brothers
Leave all your love and your longing behind
You can't carry it with you if you want to survive

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
Can you hear the horses?
'Cause here they come

The dog days are over
The dog days are done
The horses are coming
So you better run

Saturday, June 30, 2012

I Really Don't Think I Can Do That Again


I really don’t think I can do that again.

So, as many people know, I suffer from a really painful disorder called Endometriosis, but which I refer to as ‘Metrie’ the same way that people with Cystic Fibrosis call it ‘Sixty-Five Roses’.  Makes it sound nicer; maybe now it’ll act nicer. No? Oh, well, dammit.
In a nutshell, about every month it flares up, usually not too bad, and can be fixed with ungodly amounts of around 6 ibuprofen, 4 naproxen and usually a few diphenhydramine because really, you think I wanna be conscious thru that? No.  Massive crippling pelvic pain, sometimes extending up to my ribs and down to my knees, horrific sensitivity to light, heat, touch, smell and sound, and PAIN PAIN PAIN that often results in vomiting and delirium. It’s so great. Today it was so bad that I could not crawl to get the phone to call for someone to take me to the hospital for about an hour, couldn’t stand to reach the pills in my medicine cabinet,  and I lay on the linoleum of my kitchenette, rolling in pain and shaking, until my t-shirt and hair were both DRIPPING wet from perspiration.  The worst part is that the pain won’t let you push it to the back of your mind- you can’t really distract yourself from it. You are perfectly, totally aware of every single body-wrenching twist, every time.  Today might’ve been the worst I have ever had it, maybe the second worst. No, no I take that back; the other time I actually made it to the hospital where I got lots and lots of morphine, which was really nice. This time I got the whole 3 hour party. 3 hours seems like 5 hours, I swear. It was so fun. That was this morning from about Noon until 3 o’clock. It is now 11:30pm and my arms and legs are still very weak and shaking.
Anyhow, as I lay on the couch, semi-comatose about 4 this afternoon, I thought to myself; “I don’t think I can do that again.” I was so tired I could hardly move, and even talking was laborious. I had taken  a small handful of pills, on which I blame the temporary loss of feeling in my fingers, lips, forehead and toes. I didn’t mind. Hell, I didn’t want to feel ANYTHING right then.
So tomorrow I am getting an appointment with Dr. (probably Johnson, maybe Rafael) to get some f’vicodin or some f’oxycotin or some f’weed! I don’t care, but this can’t keep happening. God, that was such Hell.
Sorry for burdening everyone with that, but getting it over my lips seems to help. Or over the keyboard. Same thing. J

Friday, May 18, 2012

Nightmares


Last night I had a dream. A nightmare, rather. I always have nightmares when I get cold while I sleep. That’s why I take extra care to stay warm at night; my subconscious seems to take delight in finding things I fear most and presenting them, and taking things I love most and tormenting them. Last nights misadventure was about being stalked by a tall man with a variety of metal good for stabbing people. I think being stabbed would be the worst way to be murdered (without getting creative). I love my horses, so of course the man in my dream slit their throats. This dream wasn’t TOO terrible tho, since I managed to get Leah (my little sister) onto the back of one horse and thus escape.
I’m getting much better at escaping in my nightmares. I used to dream, rather often, of a dark, strong man who appeared behind me and choked me and beat me until I’d wake up in a sweat. Every  time I had the dream it was very much the same; I knew just how he’d grab me, how he’d throw me to the floor, and how he’d choke me, his hand fitting almost all the way around my neck. Even tho I knew how the attack would go, I never knew how to escape from my attacker.  But recently I have been learning a little bit about fighting, from my lover, Chad. The last time I had that dream, I fought back. In my dream, the dark man had come from behind, as always, he’d gotten me to the floor and even gotten his hand around my neck, but I remembered a move that Chad had taught me recently, and I threw the man off of me.
I’m sure the dream will come again, but this time I will be ready.
In last night’s dream, I escaped on horseback. I had the chance to run in the dream, but in real life I am a terrible runner, and my subconscious knows that. If I ever run from an attacker, I am captured. Good thing there were horses!
But I got to thinking; what happens in tomorrow’s dream, where there are no horses?
So I went for a run this morning. I am still as bad as ever, but I am going to work at it. If I am never fast, I will run long. And then later, when I dream, maybe I will be able to escape on foot. Maybe others don’t literally run from their nightmares during daylight hours, but if you had the dreams I do, I think you would. 

Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Rassmussen Plantation part 11


Cinnamon didn’t answer. Instead, she took a few steps past him and knelt down, near Ajax, who was still in his original spot on the rug.
“Be careful. He doesn’t always take to strangers.” Jeremy’s voice was swift and stern.
Cinnamon patted Ajax on the head and Ajax whined and leaned into her lap. Jeremy looked surprised.
“What were you doing on my lawn, Jeremy Tarleton?” Cinnamon asked, never lifting her eyes from Ajax, “You ought not to go walking on grounds not your own at such an hour.”
Jeremy chuckled again, and sat down on the red couch where Cinnamon had been laying.
“Do I make you nervous, little lamb?”
“No. I’m not afraid of you or anyone. And don’t call me ‘little lamb’.” Cinnamon’s eyes flashed up at him with a burst of ill-disguised hostility, but quickly returned to the wolf in her lap.
“I do make you nervous. Your speech suddenly became more formal. And you were very quick on the defense. But I suppose it’s partly ingrained into you; the moment you regained consciousness you sat up, as if you expected an attack, or sensed an enemy.”
“Are you a gypsy then, Mr. Jeremy Tarleton? and do you make a habit of telling fortunes to strangers?”
“Not I, Miss Cinnamon Rassmussen. ‘Tho I confess my mother was a Roma, and was known to entertain with cards and smoke and trinkets. Perhaps it’s inherent.”
“I knew a man like you once.” Cinnamon patted Ajax, “He was a sniper in the Great War. He noticed everything, saw every detail and never forgot a thread. He told me they trained him for it;  my father can read Latin, but I cannot.”
“You don’t like me.” Jeremy smiled, “You don’t trust me and you don’t like me. That’s unusual.”
If Jeremy was trying to change her mind about that, he was doing rather a bad job.
“No.” replied Cinnamon, lifting her chin just a little, “I don’t like you and I don’t trust you, either. You dodge all of my questions.”
Jeremy chuckled again, and said to himself, “And never been taught how to play games.”
“Games, Mr. Tar- Jeremy?” Cinnamon corrected herself.
“You know, games, Little Lamb. Cat-and-Mouse, Cloak-and-Dagger, Hard-to-Get. Games people play with each other.” Jeremy knelt down next to Cinnamon on the rug and joined her in petting Ajax, “I’m just playing with you, Cinnamon.”
“Well I don’t like your games. I can play them well enough, but I’d rather be frank.”
“Very well. Let’s begin again, shall we?” Jeremy stuck out his hand to her, “Hello, Miss Cinnamon Rassmussen. I am Jeremy Tarleton, but I do insist you call me Jeremy.”
“Cinnamon Charlotte Rassmussen.” Cinnamon shook his hand, “And thanks for taking care of me tonight.”
“Ah, my duty and my pleasure, Miss Rassmussen.”
“You may call me Cinnamon.”
“You’re beginning to like me already!” Jeremy smiled.
“Don’t be so sure,” thought Cinnamon.
A knock at the door announced the arrival of an old man, carrying a basin of fresh water.
“Thank you, Ben. Is that tea coming soon?” Jeremy greeted him.
“Indeed, sir, indeed it is,” the old man replied.
“Thank you, Ben. And let me know if you need my assistance.”  Jeremy smiled at his old, bent servant  in a kind way.
“Oh, no, Master Jeremy, no indeed. It will be my pleasure,” the old man said, waving his hand dismissively at Jeremy, and shuffling back out the door.
Jeremy chucked and looked down at his wolf, but spoke to Cinnamon, “I think Old Ben has taken care of me for his entire life. Never lets me raise a finger to help him, or to help myself. The most loyal friend I could ever have had.”
Ajax whined and looked up at his master, cocking his head to the side.
“Except for you, Ajax, old boy,” laughed Jeremy.
“He seems to need at least a little help,” Cinnamon commented, not unkindly, “The house seemed perfectly deserted when I first spied it, and there seems to be a lot of dusting to be done.”
“You’ll get no argument from me,” replied  Jeremy, “Tho you’ll get quite a lot from Old Ben. I am usually away from home, and only recently returned. I’m afraid that Ben is taking a turn for the worse, and the house suffers for it. If I hired someone to help him, I know it would deeply offend the old chap, and since I don’t entertain much company, I’ll just let Ben enjoy his last few years as he likes, since he refuses to retire.”
Cinnamon smiled, despite herself. There was a tender, genuine tone in Jeremy’s voice when he talked about his old servant. He really cared for the old man as he would his own father. 
“But what about you, Miss Cinnamon?” Jeremy turned his eyes to her, and took her by her two hands, lifting her to her feet from the rug, “Come, let’s sit back on the sofa,” he added as a side note.
“What about me?” Cinnamon asked, following him obediently.
“Your house must be no better than mine. And you haven’t any help there at all, have you?”
“No. But I can get along just fine. I am stronger than I look.”
“No doubt, no doubt. You’re not there all alone, are you? I don’t think that would be a good idea. Not for any extended period of time, anyhow.”
“I’m not alone. I have Tybalt with me.”
Jeremy laughed aloud this time, a bark of a laugh, a legitimately surprised and pleased one.
“You mean your cat, don’t you?”
“Well, yes, but he’s good company.” Cinnamon answered, a little sullen.
“I don’t doubt it. Animals can be the best of companions. Ajax!” Jeremy called his wolf to his side, “But a cat isn’t much for protection.”
Ajax came at once, and laid his head in Jeremy’s lap.
“Oh, he does as well as a cat can,” defended Cinnamon.
“Would you consider keeping Ajax with you, for a time?”
Ajax seemed to know that his master was talking about him, and his eyes glanced back from Jeremy to Cinnamon.
“He’s a good fellow,” advertised the wolf’s master, “and he’s very well trained. He’ll protect anyone I instruct him to.”
Cinnamon hesitated. The idea of a big, black wolf was appealing as it was certain to deter her home invaders, but she didn’t know how Tybalt would react to it. And she wasn’t keen to be beholden to anyone; fast way to trouble, that was.
“Thanks, Jeremy, thanks, but I think not. Ajax….he’d attack my cat, I think, and I’m too attached him to let anything happen.”
“Cinnamon, I promise you he will not attack your cat,” Jeremy smiled, with that impossible smile that said he knew just what she was thinking
Another knock at the door announced that Old Ben had arrived with the tea. The couple remained in the red room for another hour before Cinnamon could no longer stifle her yawns, and she stood to excuse herself back home.
“Ah, not tonight, Miss Cinnamon,” Jeremy insisted, “Ben has prepared a room for you, with a drawn fire and fresh sheets; he’d be quite hurt if his work went to waste. And in any case, I’m not letting you walk all the way back to Eau D’Noir; I’ll find you in a dead faint halfway there tomorrow morning.”  
Cinnamon was too tired to argue. Her eyes were closing as Jeremy walked her down the hall, carrying a candelabra. The candlelight cast strange shadows against the walls, and, being in an unfamiliar house, Cinnamon had the feeling of a mouse in a maze. At last they stopped before a door, and Jeremy opened it slightly, then slightly bowed.
“Goodnight,” Jeremy said, leaning forward and kissing her lightly on the forehead. Before Cinnamon had a chance to respond, Jeremy and the light of the candelabra were gone, and Cinnamon was left in the dark.

Chapter Ten
The next morning Cinnamon awoke before Jeremy or Old Ben had a chance to, and hurried back to Eau D’Noir in her bare feet. She wasn’t sure how her host would take this, but the house made her uncomfortable, and so did he; Jeremy Tarleton with his cat-and-mouse games and his handsome, piercing eyes that looked just a little too deep into her own.
She shook her red tangles as she entered the last clearing and took a resentful look at her mansion.
            “You creepy old thing,” she thought, stopping and observing the house from afar, “What am I going to do with you?”
The thought of converting the mansion into a Bed and Breakfast reoccurred to her. What a job that would be. Perhaps she could convince Alexandra to come and stay with her for a while, to clean and cook and split the profits when they came in. Assuming that they would, in fact, come in.  
She sighed deeply and walked up to the house with her muddy feet.
She was met in the porch by a harassed-looking Tybalt. He’d spent the night searching and searching for her, and now wasn’t going to let her off lightly.
            “Rrrrr-owww,” he scolded, rubbing and rubbing against her ankles, “Rrrrrr-owwww. Where have you been!? How could you just disappear like that without a word? And the smell of wolves thick in the air! I just knew that I would find your body scattered from here to New Orleans! Don’t run off like that again, I’m warning you!”
Cinnamon largely ignored him and hurried up the stairs to change into her usual uniform; the sleeveless white shirt, the rolled-up overalls and a tattered newsboy cap. She looked funny in the fancy embossed-bordered mirror in the Master Bedroom. Perhaps this would be a popular room for guests.
Cinnamon left off her shoes and went back down the stairs, tying her hair back as she descended them.  Suppose she was to convert the place to a hotel. What rooms should she need to open? She’d need an office. Old Rassmussen’s office would do the job well. And the grand foyer would serve as a lobby, the kitchen was all ready for use, and the dining room wouldn’t need too much work, apart from polishing the silver. Assuming she could find the silver.  There seemed to be a lot of assumptions to throw around.
Cinnamon went first to the kitchen, and there made herself a ham and cheese sandwich from the ‘fixin’s’ left her by her lady visitors the other day. As she ate, she glanced around the kitchen, rather pleased with her work there. The counters and sinks were all cleaned, as well as every dish in the cupboard. Strange that she had not found the silver in all the drawers. It would have been an easy target for thieves, or one of the first things sold off, had the family fallen on hard times. But then, the silver-handled mirror and brush were still upstairs when she’d arrived, and they would’ve been sold off even before the silverware.
The practical mysteries of the place were as baffling as the supernatural ones.
The morning passed with Cinnamon on her knees, scrubbing the floors and up on chairs, scrubbing the walls. Many of the rooms were already cleaned to a degree, and Cinnamon didn’t have a terrible time getting them clean to her satisfaction. Regular light maintenance would keep them very well. The curtains were taken down and beaten out-of-doors, then taken back up and re-hung, and the rugs were all treated similarly. There were the many sheets which had been covering the furniture and beds that needed to be beaten out and stored, mirrors and windows to be treated with a homemade mixture of vinegar and water, armies of dead flies to me swept from the windowsills, and occasional mold to be scrubbed or pried up from the floors and windows. Cinnamon was unwilling to re-visit the attic where she had stored the photograph album, so she searched all over the house for another place to store them, and ended up putting the majority in the vacant maid’s quarters, next to the attic.
“Silly,” she thought, “to be afraid of the entire attic because it has a photograph album with a picture of a woman long dead. I’m not even sure it’s Alyce!”
“You do know it’s Alyce,” contradicted another voice in her head.
“I do not,” Cinnamon insisted, and started humming ‘Bill Bailey, Won’t You Come Home’ to block out any other thoughts on the matter, and went back to scrubbing.
A few hours later, after she had eaten another ham and cheese sandwich and fed little scraps to Tybalt, Cinnamon was back up in the maid’s quarters, storing sheets, when a sound turned her head. It sounded like a door shutting, coming from the attic. When the thought had time to sink in, her sink crawled involuntarily.
“It’s just a draft, Tybalt,” Cinnamon assured the cat at her ankles, “just a draft in a drafty old house.”
“Rrrrowww,” replied the cat.
Then came the sound of footsteps running out of the attic, and down the hallway, and the out of hearing. 

The Hideout



You know how old English houses have names? I guess most fancy places have names. Truthfully, I think that all places have names, just few of them are referred to generally by them.
I have been very lucky lately, and have gotten myself a nice little place in the North Valleys. It’s a very, very little place, but it has a porch (which is really quite essential for my happiness, I find), a large, walk-in closet, a shower which retains it’s hot water for a sufficiently long while, and I’ve got a good little garden growing in pots and baskets on the porch, and if the birds and rabbits don’t get them first, some wildflowers that I’ve sewn a bit helter-skelter in the backyard dirt.  
I have named my place ‘The Hideout’ and I have named the valley I live in ‘Quail Run’ because there are always quails running across the road and across the yard, and all around. I adore them, the sweet little things.
I like quails very much, also because they stick together, don’t they? The husband and wife never leave each other’s side, they always stick together, and soon there will be little quail-lings running all around behind their mothers and fathers. Mr. and Mrs. Quail are always a welcome sight. They always make me smile.
Oh- if anyone knows where I can get ahold of pumpkin seeds, I would very much appreciate that. I want to grow pumpkins more than anything, so I can have my own jack-o-lanterns come Halloween. 

Monday, April 2, 2012

I need to start saying nice things.

Once again I find myself apologizing for a long absence.
This time there is a man to blame! I have been diligently trying to blog some more, but there is this hilarious & handsome Chad who just keeps on kissing me. I cannot resist a Chad.
Anyhow....
The people at Starbucks tell me that I look exhausted. I feel pretty exhausted today as well. Work has not been very busy lately, and I cannot tell you how exhausting I find it to fake busy all day. Faking busy is awful. I must have wiped the counter clean about twenty times and dusted the windowsills the same amount. I cleaned the latte machine for an hour, and swept the floor until the broom wore clean thru. Would the general public please see fit to come eat at Dee's Bakery? I would much rather fuss over making you a perfect sandwich than fuss over imaginary lint on the pastry case.
And as I cleaned, I grouched. I was a big, fat crank. This is partly because of lovely facts of nature are imposing themselves on me very soon, and also because of faking work.
And I did not have very nice things to say. I said mean things about my cousin's spouse, mean things about Mormons and mean things about non-Mormons. I said mean things about children and dogs and people at grocery stores. All these things were said in my head, but they were all said, I promise you.
So I will repent of my evilness and say nice things.
But that Chad has arrived, and so now I have to go kiss him.
See you later. :)

Saturday, March 3, 2012

Rassmussen Plantation part 10



She awoke some time later, on a red, plush velvet couch and near a crackling fire. She was covered in a knitted blanket and her head rested on a sofa pillow. She looked around her, taking in her surroundings and noticed a large black dog lying on a rug in front of the fire.  The room was unfamiliar, if warm, and Cinnamon sat up very quickly. Ooh, bad decision. Her head throbbed terribly, and she nearly blacked out again.
“Ah, you’re awake. Careful, careful now, my dear. You’ve had a fright, I’m afraid, and you ought to just lie still a moment.”
At first Cinnamon didn’t see who the voice belonged to, but as he spoke the man came around the couch and crouched down next to her. He looked to be about thirty, with dark blue eyes and thick dark lashes. He wore his hair very short, but she could see that it was thick, dark hair. He was strikingly handsome. Cinnamon never trusted handsome men.
“Who… who are you?” asked Cinnamon, putting a hand up to her aching head.
“Here, this will help you,” the man said, taking a warm, wet washcloth from a nearby basin and laying it on her forehead. He took a second washcloth from the basin and dabbed it lightly on her lower lip.
 “When you fell you seem to have bitten your lip.” He pressed the washcloth against the slight cut, and she pulled away instinctively.
“Stop that. Who are you?” she asked. She didn’t like how close he was to her.
“I assume you must be Miss Cinnamon Rassmussen, new mistress of the plantation.” He said with a sigh, wringing the rag out in the basin, “And I am Jeremy Tarleton. I’m the owner of the Devil’s Bayou Plantation, which runs right up next to your Eau D’Noir. That’s where you are, which I assume would be your next question. I’m afraid my dog Ajax and I were out walking and caught you somewhat unawares, and as we approached you, you fainted.”
“And fired,” Cinnamon said, recalling, “Mister, I coulda killed you! What do you mean by creepin’ all over a person’s property like that?”
Jeremy chuckled, “Ah, yes. That. Fire you did, miss, but you didn’t hit anything vital. I’m not entirely sure you hit anything at all.”
Cinnamon was a bit irked by his tone.
The dog on the rug whined a bit, and cocked his head.
“Stay, Ajax, stay there, boy,” ordered Jeremy.
Cinnamon looked at the dog a minute longer. Dog nothing! That was a wolf, the very wolf whom she had seen in the town earlier that very day. The red leather collar he wore left no doubt.
“What kind of a man walks alone at night in a graveyard? With a wolf no less!” wondered Cinnamon to herself.
Jeremy looked at her intently for a moment, then stood.
“I think a cup of tea is in order. That will set you to rights, I am certain. And I’ll get you a fresh basin.” Jeremy took the basin in one hand and walked towards the door.
He walked out the door, and when in the hall, Cinnamon heard him talking to someone in the hall. She shifted under her blanket, and slowly pushed herself into a sitting position. She looked around the room again. Her eyes fell on the window, and she briefly considered escaping out thru it, but convinced herself that that would be an overreaction.
Something was unsettling. Jeremy was certainly being kind, being gentlemanly, but he set her on edge just the same. She didn’t like him. And she didn’t like it here. She slid her feet onto the floor and stood up, slowly, carefully. The black wolf on the rug whined and cocked his head.
“Shh, shh dog,” she said, trying to remember what Jeremy had called him, “Shh, good boy…Ajax.”
Cinnamon realized that she had socks on her feet now. Warm, thick, woolen ones. Jeremy Tarleton certainly was attentive. And a warm robe around her shoulders. Warm, soft, and dark red like the theme of the room. It smelled faintly of cigar smoke and a spice, like nutmeg or cinnamon. The shoulders were much too broad for her, and the sleeves drowned her arms in their length.
Perhaps Cinnamon was just nosy, or perhaps it was her childish, inquisitive nature, but she padded quietly over to the mantle, crowded with curious brickabrack, and began to shuffle through it’s contents.
What a curious place. The mantle was covered in dust, as thick as the dust as Eau D’Nior before her clean-up. Old books, parchment, feather quills and assorted rubbish. Cinnamon lifted up a silk scarf and then dropped it suddenly with a gasp. She looked briefly back at the wolf on the rug, and the lifted the scarf again.
It was a skull; a wolf skull. Bleached white, with some signs of chipping around the edges. All the teeth were still intact, tho one of the canines was slightly broken at the tip. She lifted it up off of the mantle, and it’s outline was left in the dust, visible even in the flickering light of the fire. The firelight reflected off the red drapes and the red carpet, staining everything in the room with it’s crimson. The skull too, seemed leering and red in the dim light.
“You’re a curious little thing, aren’t you?”
Jeremy Tarelton was suddenly right behind her. She jumped and stifled a cry, instinctively hiding the skull behind her back, although she knew he had already seen it in her hands. Jeremy chuckled deep in his throat, and reached around behind her to take the skull.
“I’ll have to be more careful with you, won’t I?” he said as he set the skull back in it’s place on the mantle.
Jeremy was a very tall man, Cinnamon realized. Standing next to him, she just reached his shoulder with her head.
“I’ll scare you to death by accident before the week is out. Do you always startle so easily?”