Crazy Person Ranch

I love Paradise Ranch- let’s get that part out of the way.  But this blog isn’t going to be about the Wild West that comes to mind when I first start thinking about Wyoming and my adventures here. It’s about another part- the folklore side of things. Any ranch you will ever go to has a legend. Most times it’s a ghost story, but you also get the Skinwalkers, the rogue predator, or the Indian curse on the place.

Paradise is pretty original; here’s our colloquial- people go crazy here. It’s not just the ranch either; the whole area knows it. Nearby we have Crazy Woman Canyon,  rumor says it’s named after one of the first victims of the Bighorn’s curse.

Remember Creeper Steve? Or the Foreman who saw people watching him from the trees? Well, we officially have a new crazy to add to the list. Out of respect, we’ll leave names at the door and call this new crazy ‘Lucy’, after Hungry Lucy. Who most of you have no idea about. Hungry Lucy is a crazy, that’s all that’s important.

It came out of nowhere; she was normal, generally happy and nothing unusual happened that day. Somewhere in the still hours of the night, I was suddenly wide awake, and a woman’s voice was shouting from the living room.

“Snakes?! You put snakes in my bed?! Yeah, yeah, wake up! I hope you are sleeping!”

She shouted all night from that point until sunrise, and she even left the Hen House to go to the Bunkhouse to harass the cowboys, then to the Bosses House and banged on the door there, saying that people were throwing up on her.

I was pretty wary, because she was also was hallucinating a ‘redhead girl’ who she raved about for a bit.

This morning the Bosses took her away to get help, and things are back to normal.

Maybe the legend is true…



Your pretty, pretty face

"You are so beautiful. I could never hurt someone as beautiful as you."
Flattering, and very pleasing- those words. And coming from an old friend, or a very close friend, they would just melt my heart like butter.
But most often that phrase comes from a semi-stranger, someone I've just met, someone swaggering and bullying and loudmouthed, someone who wants to make a quick impression and sees me as a pretty, mealy-mouthed little fool who he'd like to lay.
I am such a contradiction. If it makes me so uncomfortable and suspicious, why do I dress up so carefully to inspire those comments? And why do I then drown in devastation if those comments don't come? Like a puppy who wags it's tail and jumps at your heels until you reach over to pet it, then turns into a deer that shies away and runs to the safe shadows of the woods.
Maybe women aren't really made to make sense. Just know what's coming next; don't try to make sense of it. Science doesn't apply here. I'm a woman, after all.

Meagan Quirk and the Extremely Awesome Boots

Today I had to run to Buffalo to mail off a birthday package to my momma.  It is a very good present, and she will like it, but I cannot tell you what it is, peradventure she happen to read this blog and discover it prematurely!!

Well, I will tell you that it is a half hour drive into Buffalo, and I do not like to drive for half an hour to just walk into a place and then  just drive back, mostly because that is extremely lame. So I took a little stroll around Buffalo Wyoming just for kicks. And I happened to stroll into one of the many antique stores that dot that place. I walked around, looking at all the knickknacks and doodads and they were pretty cool. And then I saw the boots. Not just any boots. These were extremely awesome boots!

Most stuff in antique stores does not fit me at all, on account of folks way back when were smaller folks and I’m a average-tall girl of the nowadays.  But I tried them on just to see, and what do you know they fit PERFECT!! Well, I knew it was a sign that God wanted me to have these boots. So I bought them and they were cheap.

They are kind of crazy boots, but I love them!! They remind me of Steven Tyler.

Why? Because Steven Tyler is rockin’ it. And I am rockin’ these boots. Steven Tyler is a pretty ugly dude, let’s be honest. But does that stop him from being one SEXY dude!!?? No it does not! Instead, he takes it and rocks it! How does dude do this!? I do not know, I just know that he does.  So in honor of Steven Tyler, and in honor of being true to yourself, I am rockin’ my 60’s sweetness hippie boots, and gonna go find myself a lover at Woodstock. Hey, wasn’t Steven Tyler at Woodstock?

Brilliant

This blog started as a facebook post, but, as sometimes happens to me, my thoughts began to flood and I knew a facebook post could not contain them.
I have a dakine circle of friends. I have a big circle of cool peeps, then I have my smaller, super tight circle of people who I'd trust with my deepest secrets. In that tight circle, I've seen some of these friends in every kind of light; we've all been thru sicknesses both mental and physical, divorces, suicides, deaths, and fights together. We've been hated together, and together we've pieced each other back together. We've also had our beautiful days in the sun. When you see a person from just about every angle, you see pretty well what they are made of. Here is one category;
0. Below Average - Average
1. Clever
2. Talented
3. Brilliant
With Horses, for example, I am clever. I'm better than most; it's just a fact, not self-glory. But Shannon, my little sister, is Talented. She's got a gift with the animals- a natural knack that God gave her that gives her above and beyond what I can achieve based on desire and cleverness. I can't say I know anyone who is a full blown Brilliant; but that's the fantastic thing about brilliance- I can see it glimmer here and there. Not everyone has it, and those who do rarely know it because brilliance is a hider. The bad thing about being brilliant is that it makes you different than others, and others have been known to tear brilliants to pieces.
To avoid emabarassing some of my friends in whom I have seen brilliance shine, I will call them Bryan and David.
Bryan is brilliant. I have seen his brilliance shine one too many times to think it just a fluke. He's many things, among them a dancer and choreographer. Bryan frustrates me sometimes because he cannot see what I, what everyone else, sees. I've seen him angry at himself for not being good enough, and devastated to his core at his percieved failures. Bryan, you are amazing! Your talent shocks me whether in a performance or just dancing at a club.
David is brilliant also. David is a writer, and a very good one. He doesn't know it, but some of the things he writes astonish me into reading them again and again, in wonder of how he could he known how to so perfectly pair emotions, views, scenes, or ideas with words into flawless paragraphs. Or he'll write something, an idea that I've never concieved before, and it's entrance into my mind is like music so welcome and fresh, I wonder how I survived the stifletry of thoughts before it.
The moral is this:
Average people generally accept that they are average.
Clever people generally know they are clever.
Talented people generally aknowlege that they are talented.
Brilliant people I have seen over and over wish that they were brilliant, but push away the sugggestion that they are with frustration.
Listen here- If I tell you that you are brilliant or talented, I am saying it because I mean it. Few things insult me more than when I give a sincere compliment and it is taken as flattery or consolation.
That's as far as my thoughts take me.

Meagan's Guide to Sunburn Treatment

Being a redhead of Scandinavian decent who grew up in the Nevada desert, I learned about sunburns early in my life. They suck, and they hurt, and they have long-term effects. My mom used to tell me, "If you get burned when you're young, you'll get skin cancer and wrinkles!" But really, what does that mean to an 8 year old? Nothing.
But to a 24 year old, it means quite a freakin' lot.
I have been burned a TON and often even after 2-3 applications of sunscreen. Apparently white-skinned blue-eyed people were meant for places more like Norway and Sweden than Nevada.
You want to know to know how to get rid of that burn ASAP? Here's my recipe; it's a good one and has gone thru a lot of perfecting.
1. As soon as you can, get into a lukewarm bath. In the bathtub seep two tea bags of mint tea and two bags of chamomile tea. If you have Aloe to spare, pour it generously into the tub. Witch hazel is also very good. Soak in that baby for a good hour. It doesn't have to be cold, but if it's too warm your burn will continue to, well, burn.
2. When you get out of the tub, pat your skin dry- DON'T rub. Mix together in you  palm equal parts of Neosporin (DO NOT skip the neosporin, this part is very inportant), Bikini Zone's Aftershave Gel (this is basicly Lidocane, a topical analgesic, which will numb your skin) and Blue Aloe Vera (The Blue kind usually has extra mosturizers, vitamins, and lidocane along with aloe), and gently rub it over your burn. Let it soak in. Occasionally this means standing naked in the bathroom while it soaks in, but your clothes will absorb the nutrients your skin really needs right now.
3. Drink as much Gatorade or Water as you can manage.
4. Now go take 2 ibprofen or 2 naxproxen sodium and go to sleep. You may want to take a sleeping pill also, depending on how badly you are burned.
5. Do this every day, applying the Gooey Poltice from step 2 whenever you need it.
6. When the burn is gone, make a habit of applying lotion that contains aloe for the next week, which will prevent peeling. You can even use aloe shaving creme. I've done that before.
7. Rejoice in the tan you have got now, and don't get burned again.

Tim Gunn's Guide to Polygamist Style

Let's be serious-- This is what we really need to talk about! The REAL problems with polygamy.

Polygamy - What do you think?

Centennial Youth at a Pro-Polygamy Rally

FLDS Women in Texas

The Brown Family

A while ago my cousin Sarah introduced me to the TLC show ‘Sister Wives’. When I first watched it, it was really out of morbid curiosity; There must be some great catfights and jealousy between wives, and a frowning, domineering, Bible-thumping husband, scads of blonde illiterate children, and possibly a girl married off at 15.

I was kind of taken aback at what I saw. The Browns look like a happy, American ‘Mormon’ family. Their children are neither brainwashed nor uneducated, the wives aren’t dominated by their husband, who, to me, looks like he loves his wives sincerely.

It made me start to wonder about polygamy. The word itself is almost like profanity to my ears, and brings with it mental images of the people I saw in Colorado City a few years ago (I lived at a nearby ranch in AZ), the awful dress code and the self-righteous men who herded the women about, and worst, the women themselves, who looked at the ground when they talked to you, and all had the same, monotone, submissive voices. I realized what I hated so much about polygamy; it was always either forced, or the women were totally ignorant and brainwashed. It was a trap.

So I’ve been doing some homework and here’s my stance (so far; I’m up  for discussion and enlightenment). I don’t agree with plural marriage. I think it’s hurtful. But it’s not my place to tell other adults how they should feel.  Relationships are deeply personal, and it’s on the personal level that the rules of a relationship should be defined. The kind of relationship I want might not work for my sisters or somebody else… but if polygamy is what consenting adults want, I think that choice ought to be theirs. I’m talking about polygamy ala The Brown Family, where everyone is educated, healthy, loved and free to make their own decisions, not FLDS-Warren Jeffs crazy talk.

Also- Brown Family; I might not agree with your lifestyle, but I want to tell you that I admire you. You seem to have a happy family in what has to be a sometimes difficult situation. You ‘sisters’ seem like an unbreakable team. And going public had to be scary. But standing up for what you believe to be right is admirable. You are a credit to yours.

Warren Jeffs and his cronies- I hope you and all other rapists and bigots live through enternity in a hell of your own making.

Readers: What is your opinion on this issue? I really would like to hear some other perspectives.